So...have you seen this? There's been so much controversy over it,
I thought it would be a fitting Mother's Day to post my personal favourite response to this Time Magazine cover story. I think Kate Bartolotta nailed it in her following article....,.read on... (and let me know what you think.)
(and Happy Mother's Day from me ♥ )
via Time Lightbox
Motherhood is not a Competition
Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing.
I agree with most of the moms in the Time article. Breastfeeding is something I’m passionate about and I’m glad I was able to feed my children that way. Breast milk is the perfect food for children under age one, and the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding your child until age two or until mutually satisfying for both mother and child.
Extended Breastfeeding (or EBF if you are into the whole mommy bulletin board scene), helps with brain development, prevents obesity, boosts the immune system and the benefits continue to increase the longer a child breastfeeds. Scientists are finding new ways that children benefit from breastfeeding all the time.
For women, it reduces the risk of breast and ovarian cancer, and often helps women with postpartum weight loss (until those last five pounds that stay as long as you’re nursing…but that’s a totally different blog).
A few things you should know:
The choice to breastfeed is a personal one; it doesn’t make you a good mom if you do it, or a bad one if you don’t.
Breastfeeding does not make you more or less of a woman.
Breastfeeding is not remotely sexual, weird or anything negative.
Breastfeeding might change your breasts, but sometimes for the better.
Supplemental formula feeding does not make you a bad mom (it just might make it harder to keep breastfeeding).
I nursed my daughter until she was 22 months old and I was eight months pregnant with her brother. I nursed my son until he was 21 months old. I needed to be done. It took me another year to not feel guilty that I didn’t give them the same amount. It also took most of that year to get over the guilt of not participating in “Child Led Weaning,” or for the uninformed, letting them decide when it was time to stop.
Even writing this, I get that little knot in my stomach of, “Oh, but I could have done more. I should have done more” and at the same time I know some people will read this and think it’s weird that I breastfed so long.
As mothers, we will always want to give our children more. It’s how they survive. There is a primal drive in us to nourish our children—physically and emotionally.
But what works for one family isn’t what works for all families. What one child needs is not what all children need.
Pretty basic, no?
Then why the hell are we in constant competition with each other?
If you breastfeed too long you are a weirdo, too short and you’re selfish. Damned if you work, damned if you stay home. If you wear your baby you’re a hippie, if you use a stroller…well…I’m pretty sure your child is going to end up with attachment issues. Don’t even get me started on where your children sleep, or whether they fall asleep alone—no matter what you choose to do, someone is bound to think it’s awful and you are scarring your kids for life.
Enough!
photo: Time lightbox
Good moms nourish their children, and also take care of themselves.
Good moms know that sometimes it’s too hot to have anything but watermelon for dinner.
Good moms let their kids pick out their own clothes even when they end up in an ensemble of Batman pajamas, a tie-dye shirt and rain boots (true story) and they still cringe inwardly and hope no one judges them.
Good moms sometimes yell (but keep trying not to and aren’t afraid to apologize).
Good moms breastfeed for one month, or one year, or four years—or not at all.
Good moms sometimes hover too much, or not enough, and they keep trying to get it right.
Good moms aren’t Tiger Moms or Helicopter Moms or any other media invented phenomenon.
Good moms are all of us who care enough about our kids to think about this stuff;
to get the knots in our stomach when we see a news story about a kidnapped child;
to make shadow puppets, play I Spy, make up stories and invent colors;
to dance with their kids to The Ramones in the kitchen and sing into spatula microphones;
to say “no” when we have to, and “yes” as much as we can;
to say “screw you” to the people who want to put “motherhood” into a box and say there’s one right way to do it.
Because there isn’t. Because if you are a mom, and you care enough to read this, to think about it—you’re already “mom enough.”
Happy Mother’s Day—every day.
Kate Bartolotta is the strongest girl in the world. She is the love child of a pirate and a roller derby queen. She hails from the second star to the right. She doesn't know how to behave with all the apples and ibexes. She doesn't suffer from her eight million freckles, she loves them! She drinks her lemonade right from the jug. Like a rolling stone, Kate gathers no moss. Kate loves kale, being barefoot, Dr. Seuss, singing too loudly, gallivanting, pallindromes, blackberries, Elvis Presley, magic tricks and (of course) elephants. She has been charged with (and found guilty of) overusing the exclamation point! When she's not writing, you can find her practicing yoga, running in the woods, dancing with her kids, devouring a book, planting dandelions, changing the world and doing her dishes. Kate does not play the accordion. She is on her way to becoming a fabulous massage therapist, an imperfect vegan, a mediocre writer and a compassionate friend to all.